The Stand news team at the University of St Andrews have had a go at writing the ‘perfect’ cover letter. And it sounds eerily familiar…:
Dear FTSE 100 Company/ Times Top 100 Graduate Employer/ The Big Four,
My name is Randy StAndrewsman, I am a third-year student and quite frankly, you need look no further for the future CEO of your organisation. In spite of this (I would apply for CFO if I could), I am applying for your position of summer analyst. I have always been interested in your organisation since I met your company at the St Andrews graduate fair last week. Since this convocation I have dreamed of adding value to the filing and photocopying workflow system of your organisation. I enclose my CV for your consideration.
I am interested in applying for the position of student intern because your PR-hounding has made me aware that I will struggle to find meaningful graduate employment without one. I feel that your organisation’s focus on nurturing talent to become future leaders resonates with my belief that I will be a Chief Executive within ten years. I have organised student events so, ipso facto, I will organise your company from top to bottom.
As my CV illustrates, my extra-curricular activities are second to only the rest of my university peers...
See the full letter here.