Jess Astbury writes in York University’s The Yorker that male housemates aren’t all they’re cracked up to be (which isn’t very much in the first place):

My playground perceptions of boys definitely adhered to all the clichés. Boys WERE smelly and they DID have cooties. If one of them tried to kiss you/show you that thing where they turn their eyelid inside out, it was best to run away as fast as your little person legs could carry you.

Then came the teenage years and along with the phase of worshipping Billie Joe Armstrong and pretending I could actually skate on my newly bought skateboard came another one where boys didn’t seem so bad after all. Maybe, if one tried to kiss me, I wouldn’t run away quite so fast. Then I came to university and realised that I was right all along. Boys ARE smelly and they DO have cooties.

Forgive me if you are a particularly groomed and hygienic metrosexual male but unfortunately I have never met you or any others like you. Whilst guys can normally confine their questionable habits to their rooms in halls, it’s only when you sign that fateful contract to live with them in a house that they unleash them in their full glory. Here’s a list of ten life lessons I would never have learnt without the input of my lovely male housemates:

1. Never have a one night stand with a guy unless you particularly fancy having your name forever replaced with a nickname detailing your most defining feature. e.g. ‘The Beast’ or ‘The Nose’ (I wish I had made these up…)

2. No road sign is too big or too much effort to bring home as a souvenir from a night out. 6′ x 4′ snail infested barrier in our not-much-bigger front room? NO PROBLEM…

Full story here.